JKJ’s New Year’s Resolutions!

I have NEVER EVER EVER failed a New Year’s Resolution. EVER. And this year I’ve picked some doozies. 1. Learn how to spell recieve, I mean, receive. 2. Don’t gain 50 lbs. 3. Invent formal yoga pants for all black tie events. IN STORES SOON! 4. Don’t take my work pants off until I’m inside the apartment not WHILE unlocking the door. 5. Only eat ONE bag of Sunchips during an episode of The Biggest Loser. 6. Limit one vampire show on my DVR at a time. 7. Figure out fractions. WTF? 8. WHAT THE HECK IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TBSP and TSP???????? Figure that out too. 9. Continue to successfully avoid eye contact with the 99%. 10. Petition for the legitimacy of UrbanDictionary.com. They’re SO right! Good luck! And when you fail your resolutions, don’t forget to visit, www.jennakimjones.com/happynewyear Love,...

Mid Week Pop Music Pick Me Up – Justin Bieber 2.0

I know it’s Tuesday but I’m only working four days this week so this is my mid week. Australia has created their very own Justin Bieber. His name is Cody Simpson and he’s on his way to America. How do I know? Radio Disney is playing his music. You know Disney gets to pick who’s famous next, right? While Cody Simpson is no Justin Bieber, I ask America, do we not have any 15 year old boys that are good enough to make it? Must we keep outsourcing our pop singers? Where is this generation’s Justin Timberlake? In America we keep producing goobers like Scotty McCreery. Sure he looks just as lesbian-ish as the next 15 year old male pop star but he can’t make 3D movies, start a more popular haircut than “The Rachel” and sell out Madison Square Garden in 10 seconds. I enjoyed Cody’s music video, especially the Claire’s product placement. Ah, Claire’s, you bring back so many prepubescent memories. Ladies and gentlemen, I present Cody Simpson. Love,...

Dear BYU-Idaho,

I’m basically indifferent to your recent ban on skinny jeans.  But… …in your honor, I decided to wear skinny jeans today. Daaaaang, they are tight!  I lost circulation in my calves about an hour ago.  Also, while you’re here, can you grab my keys for me? I dropped them on the ground over there and can’t bend over to pick them up. By the way, when did I get all this back fat? I can’t breath. (What I’m saying is, you’re not really missing anything anyway.) Love,...

Make out, Marry, Murder – 12.8.11

Not ONE Christmas themed #MMM. I’m disappointed. @douchebaggette Android, Blackberry, Windows Mobile Makeout: Blackberry Marry: Android Murder: Windows Mobile I have an Android for the next 18 months so I’m basically married to one.  I don’t even know what Windows Mobile means and Blackberry while very sexy is not a phone you take home to the parents. @tmnjoel Zack Morris, AC Slater, Screech Powers Makeout: AC Slater Marry: Zack Morris Murder: Screech I know I made the obvious choice but sometimes that’s the BEST choice. @theemilyrigby WHO’S YOUR DADDY? Bella Swan’s dad, Jacob Black’s dad (dude in the wheelchair), Edward Cullen’s dad. Makeout: Edward Cullen’s Dad Marry: Bella Swan’s Dad Murder: Jacob Black’s Dad What the heck? This took me a minute.  I think I chose to marry Bella’s Dad because from what I can tell, he’s not very nosy. (Can’t confirm that because I haven’t seen or read all the movies or books.)  Edward’s Dad is too pretty.  And Jacob’s Dad is very intimidating. @xxluckyx Ron Swanson, Andy Dwyer, Ben Wyatt #ParksandRec Makeout:  Ron Swanson Marry: Andy Dwyer Murder:  Ben Wyatt Ron has lady issues but he’d probably buy me a steak.  Andy is hilarious.  And Ben is way too uptight and nerdy for me. @elyssajk Ted, Marshall & Barney from HIMYM. Makeout:  Barney Marry:  Marshall Murder:  Ted Ted is a pushover. And you can’t marry Barney because he’d tell me to suit up all the time and while I clearly would look fantastic is a pant suit, I just don’t feel like channeling Hillary Clinton anytime soon. @james80d Billy Corgan, Billie Joe Armstrong, Billy Joel. Makeout:  Billy...

Xango

Some of you might remember way back in July when I shot a commercial for Xango. Well I totally forgot about them until today so I went to youtube and low and behold they were up. Two words: Aw. Kward. Let the teasing begin. Love,...