Pop Music Pick Me Up

Just finished an enormous burrito. So there’s a good chance I may just fall aslzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… Sorry, post lunch coma set in. Every time some cheesy boy band or teenybopper pop album is sent to the office, my coworkers just deliver it straight to my desk. They totally get me. I’m currently listening to Nickelodeon’s Victorious: Music from the Hit TV Show. Oh yeah. Why didn’t Nickelodeon or Disney discover me when I was a teenager and turn me into a television show/pop sensation??? So anyway, based on the first three songs I’ve listened to, I sort of like it…a…lot. Don’t judge me. It’s catchy. Here’s a sample: Oh darling girl, you are so pretty and skinny–stop dancing while you’re ahead. I wonder if all the 14 year old kids out there watching this video understand that there are no dance clubs like the ones in music videos. Unless of course there is a pop music dance club somewhere full of sober pretty people break dancing in unison. This sort of sounds like something that would exist in Provo, Utah (where I’m from) but if it does exist it’s on BYU’s campus and ends by 11:30 PM. Also, Freak the Freak Out? Those lyrics might be a little too suggestive. Maybe Freak the Heck Out would be better? (Last few sentences to be read extra sarcastically.) Love, JKJ P.S. I looked up the word “teenybopper” on urban dictionary and it’s like they took my high school freshman yearbook photo and described it: “usually a 11-14 year old girl who wears shirts that say things like “angel” “princess” “diva” “goddess,” etc....

New Year’s Eve

I don’t know about you but there are NOT enough celebrities in this movie. Jon Bon Jovi? Hillary Swank? Really? If you watch closely, it looks like Lea Michelle will be singing in the movie (kill me) and Zac Efron does a little dancing (thank goodness) so at least they’re sticking to what we’ve come to expect from them. Now listen, I hated the movie Valentine’s Day so there’s a good chance I will also hate this movie. That being said, there is a 100% chance that I’ll see it and then at that point I’ll let you know how much I hate it. They did, in this movie, get their act together and drop George Lopez because he, being the voice of reason in the last movie, was too much—I’ll believe a lot of things in the movies—but I cannot believe that. (I feel like Meatloaf–“And I’ll believe anything for film, but I can’t dig that.” I’ll get working on that video asap.) Check out the cast list here. NYE (See what I did there? I’m SO hip.) better be playing at the Regal Movie theater so I can at least drink from the Coca Cola Freestyle. Oh how I love you… Love, JKJ P.S. Two spoiler alerts: The scene in Valentine’s Day, when it’s revealed that Bradley Cooper is actually gay, was as much a blow to my life as that horrible scene in 500 Days of Summer when Zooey Deschanel tells Joseph Gordon Levitt that she’s married is to every man who saw that movie (and woman too, really). I’ve got to stop falling in love...

Hey-Ya-Larious

I’m obsessed with these twins. And I don’t care if I’m jumping on this bandwagon a little late. Love,...

Goodbye, Sister Wife!

I dare you to find a Mormon girl who at one point or another hasn’t joked about which one of her friends she could enter into a polygamist relationship with. No? Just me? No way! (That’s right non-Mormon friends, Mormons joke about polygamy! But let me be clear, MORMONS AREN’T POLYGAMISTS.) Anyway, moving on. My dear friend, Maria Merrill, MOVED AWAY TODAY.  Maria is the greatest–I would totally share a husband with her. (In the least creepiest way possible–calm down, people.) Sadly, Maria and I didn’t get a chance to become really close friends until the last year or so. For the last few months, she has been my workout buddy and boy have we spent some ugly, painful hours together at Physique 57 on Spring St at the crack of dawn EVERY morning. Maria tells the BEST stories–she’s been the inspiration for many jokes in my comedy. She’s smart, funny, pretty and is my trusted source for all things make up and soon to be lawyer stuff.  I’m so excited for Maria to start Law School at BYU and even more excited that I now have a friend in Provo. Maria, your my new friend forever.  I’ll miss you a lot (but I’ll see you in a few weeks)! Love, JKJ P.S. We don’t have any pictures together…we need to remedy that when I’m in...