JKJ Personal Update 4.28.11

1. I’ve started a new running regiment to go along with my Physique 57 regiment. Physique 57 is the craziest workout class I’ve ever taken. It’s basically squatting for an hour with a few intermissions for weight lifting, push ups and “thigh dancing.” I know. I not only have to endure constant burning in my thighs but corny names like thigh dancing while pretty women encourage me to keep it up! I actually love the class–it’s by far the quickest way to tone up BUT I hate it when the teachers find out what my name REALLY is (as opposed to the names I usually give them) because then they can call me out when I’m slacking off and trust me, it isn’t easy to keep up with these ladies. Anyway, both of my workouts involve me spending time around women who are much skinnier than me. No joke, one out of every three women I saw running in Central Park this morning was absolutely anorexic. The “anies” as my friend, Maria, likes to call them make me nervous. With every step they take, I’m sure they’re going to snap in half and then I’d have to stop and help and it would be a whole thing. Guh. For heaven sakes, anies, just eat something. If not for you, for me. (I’m kidding(-ish), calm down) 2. I went on a date recently. No comment. 3. Still the super cool single aunt for the………10th time as of last Friday. Meet Fletcher Jones. Tune in for next week’s personal update when I discuss, f-f-f-feelings. (I can barely say the word!) Love,...

The End of My Life

So I was a weird kid. So I wore my pants a little high. So I had a bad haircut (NOT my fault, mom). So I wrote a story about the end of my life. Whatever. Everybody does that when they’re in 1st grade. Everybody. And obviously, Barny the dinosaur in this story who ate me, should not be confused with the purple dinosaur, Barney.  Don’t want to scare the kids.  They are TOTALLY different. Also, I spelled parents wrong. Always my own worst critic, sigh. Love,...

My friends are funny.

Last week, I sent my friends this picture of a giant jellyfish that I saw on this website. Here’s how my friends replied. Jenn: Question – If I got stung by that jellyfish, and assuming I didn’t die, are we good enough friends that you’d all pee on me to take the sting away?  Because I think it’d take more than one person. Maria: ok- this is why the ocean freaks me out. Sea Creatures are the creepiest, scariest things ever. It is straight up science fiction down there! Sara: No way that photo is real.  I think it’s similar to the first man on the moon conspiracy.  Just sayin….. I have great friends. Knew our friendship was going to work out when we discovered that we all thought The Notebook was a terrible movie. Love,...

See…donuts can be classy!

Nothing says Royal Wedding like heart shaped donuts, am I right? No. But then again, Dunkin Donuts really doesn’t have anything else to offer besides donuts. And the  women watching the Royal Wedding coverage on TLC ALL WEEK NEED something to munch on.  If I were marrying the prince, we’d have a wedding cake made entirely out of these donuts.  The Queen would despise me. Dunkin Donuts brought these regal donuts to The Daily Show for our tasting pleasure. The filling in the middle is supposed to represent romance or love or something gross like that. The chocolate drizzle is because William likes chocolate. And the white frosting represents a wedding. Oh of course! It’s all so obvious now! Straight from TLC’s website, here are the few of the upcoming wedding specials (and a few you missed). Ladies, set your DVRs! Also note that TLC’s wedding coverage starts a half an hour before the competition on Friday morning. 3:30 in the morning. No. Really. How many full grown women are having girly sleepovers, waking up (or never sleeping) and of course WEARING A WEDDING DRESS WHILE WATCHING on Thursday night/Friday morning?  More than you think.  (Calm down, I’m not one of them…yet. There’s still time to make friends, right?!?!) To see the full line up, click here. William, Kate & 8 Royal Weddings Sunday, April 24@6p/5c As the world waits for Prince William and Kate Middleton to tie the Royal knot, this special revisits the glamour and spectacle of previous Royal Weddings – from Queen Elizabeth to the Prince Charles and Lady Diana. Untold Stories of a Royal Bridesmaid...