Sometimes you can read this…

…or watch me read this live in person! Ok so, I won’t actually be reading my blog on stage but I will try to tell jokes and I really need you to come watch me try. (Seriously, I just found out about this show and if I don’t bring some peeps to it, I don’t get to tell no jokes.) Here are the details: The ALL-STAR COMEDY SUMMER FEST!! You are invited to the ALL-STAR COMEDIAN SHOW @ STANDUP NY COMEDY CLUB on WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19th At 8:30 PM. This show will be one of the best of the year featuring as always comedians from MTV, COMEDY CENTRAL, HBO, LETTERMAN, LAST CALL with CARSON DALY AND CONAN O”BRIEN. BOB DIBUONO: MTV’s “TRL”, FOX’S “Red Eye”, SPIKE TV, Jim Bruer Unleashed on Sirius Satellite Radiohttp://bobdibuono.com/KYLE GROOMS: Comedy Central Presents 1/2 Hour Specialhttp://www.kylegrooms.net/CAROL MONTGOMERY: VH1, Comedy Central, Nick at Nighthttp://www.carolemontgomery.com/bio.html MIKE DESTEFANO: Conan O”Brien, Comedy Central http://www.puppiesandheroin.com/media Please call and make a reservation at 212-595-0850 Admission is $15 per person with a two-drink mimimum. (I know it’s a tad pricey. But hey, it will be fun???) Very Important: Admission is to be paid in CASH at door only! Do NOT BUY tickets online or from STREET TEAMS – as this is a privately produced show and those TICKETS WILL NOT be accepted. When you check in the night of the show – please let the host know who you are coming to see on the show. This is crucial…you must let them know you came to see ME. Even More Important: SEATING is at 7:30 PM sharp – This show will...

Jenna Kim’s Fake Rumors 8/17/09

The KKKKKKK (How many Kardashian’s are there?):  The Kardashian’s latest reality program, “Kourtney and Khloe take Miami,” premiered last night. It was too much. Too much Khloe. Too much Kourtney. Too much skin, hair and whine. It totally ruined my appetite.  Perv-Stache:  Michael Phelps grew a moustache and now he looks like a guy who spends a lot of time on myspace. He better  be careful, that little bit of facial hair might slow him down, though I’m pretty sure it’s fake because I don’t think fish can grow hair.   Joe Jacked-up-on-crazy-son:  First of all, let me say, Michael Jackson still hasn’t been buried.  They are waiting to put him in the ground on his 51st birthday. Why?  Because the Jackson’s are weird.  Second, Joe Jackson is an idiot.  Last week, Latoya Jackson may have mentioned something about taking Neverland to Las Vegas and making it a tourist attraction.  Joe Jackson put those rumors to rest when he said that would not happen.  He said quote, “How would they do that?”  Joe isn’t moving Neverland to Las Vegas because it would be weird or creepy or because they only want to remember Michael Jackson for his music and not for his love of little boys but because logistically, he doesn’t see how it’s possible.  That man is so out of his mind.  I can see his mind reeling, “How would they move it?  Do you think they are going to move the land it’s built on as well.  How will they move Neverland Ranch, the entire piece of Santa Barbara county to another state?  That just seems like...

Mid Week Pop Music Pick Me Up 8/12/09

This week, I’m thrilled to talk about the Jonas Brothers of the 90’s, the one, the only, Hanson! The only major difference between The Jonas Brothers and Hanson are their jeans. The Jonas Brothers wouldn’t be caught dead wearing in pants with that much sag. Check it out in the single that launched Hanson’s career, Mmmbop! Seriously, the Jonas Brothers should be grateful for these older brothers singing their prepubescent voices out. Unfortunately, Disney Channel wasn’t obsessed with teenage pop stars like they are now and Hanson’s career wasn’t quite as domineering as the JoBros. Don’t worry, they still sing together. Just a year ago, they were touring around the US, refusing to sing their hit Mmmbop. Fans were angry but hey, I get it. That song requires the vocal range of Whitney Houston before crack. Even the Chipmunks have a hard time. I know. Because they told me. Yeah, I’m friends with the Chipmunks. Jealous? My favorite Hanson song? Well to be perfectly honest, I have only ever listened to about four of them. One of those four songs keeps popping up on my ipod and I catch myself tapping my toes and singing along. It’s catchy, okay! Enjoy, This Time Around. (This song is obviously from one of their later albums because they are a little more grown up and like, uh, super hot.) Here’s what Hanson looks like this time around… Mmmmmmbop! Am I right ladies? Uh oh, I think I like Hanson again. They remind me of Jonathan Taylor Thomas which is NEVER a bad thing. What the heck happened to that boy?...

Jenna Kim’s Fake Rumors 8/10/09

Never trust your hair dresser: I went in for a trim and came out looking like Kate Gosselin. Now I know why she’s always in such a bad mood. Straight Up…or Down: Now that Paula Abdul is out of American Idol, Dancing with the Stars is trying to recruit her…to be a contestant…which might be pretty exciting considering she’ll probably pass out more often than Marie Osmond. My only concern: she’s so used to judging, she’ll critique the judges critiques and by critique, of course, I mean incoherently comment on their wardrobe. I wonder how many years it took Paula to learn how to speak Crazy. I heard that Posh Spice is stepping in for Paula on American Idol? So basically, FOX still wanted crazy but they wanted crazy to come with an accent. XOXO: Tyra and Hillary Duff have both been seen at different times on the set of Gossip Girl recently. I had no idea GG was THAT desperate. Who’s next? Dustin Diamond? Donny Osmond? David Hasselhoff? Daisy from Daisy of Love? Gossip Girl, I feel like I don’t even know you anymore! Hurts So Good: Joe Jonas is single again. I’m going to use him to get closer to his younger brother, Nick. Just call me Jenna Cougar. Love,Jenna Jonas, I mean,...