While I’m on blog-cation…

…please sign up for my show!!!  If you don’t make reservations, I can’t perform.  Do us both a favor and sign up or else.  Trust me, you don’t want to see/experience my “else.”   Here are the details: Friday May 8th – Super Ego Comedy Showcase!New York Comedy Club241 East 24th Street8 PM SHARP. $10 cover/2 drink minimum Make reservations at: info@superegocomedy.com OR jenna@jennakimjones.com (If you e-mail the first address, please make sure you tell them you are coming for me or else I won’t get the credit.) And if you’ve made reservations already, would you let me know???   You better be there with or without the Swine Flu.   Love,...

Sometimes life…

…is out of my control.   I had to rush off to my family in Utah unexpectedly so let me apologize now for not posting the last few days.  Until next week, I’m on a blog-cation.  I promise I’ll be back with another round of my Fake Rumors on Monday (unless of course I post before then…it’s hard to live without posting). Don’t feel too lost without me, dweebs.  I miss you.   Love,...

Jenna Kim’s Fake Rumors 4/27/09

OINK!: On vacation in Mexico, Ms. Piggy was asked not to return to the United States until the Swine Flu outbreak was under control. Mexican police arrested her and as she was thrown into prison she cried, “How dare you call me a swine! This is not my flu. Kermie, save me!” (8 cases of swine flu were diagnosed in Queens. Another reason I never leave Manhattan.) TV Wedding (tastier than a TV dinner): Spencer and Heidi are tying the knot (tied the knot?) for realz. Their new married life reality show will premiere on Oxygen right after Tori and Dean’s show because after destroying Nick and Jessica’s marriage, MTV just couldn’t bear to ruin another one. Then they’ll have a baby, maybe twins or triplets which will land them a deal with TLC if they’re lucky. Speaking of lucky, those kids are going to inherit a multi-network reality television show kingdom. Symptoms of Swine Flu: Oinking, pork cravings, butt like J. Simpson, perma-pig face The Sunfire Burns Out: GM announced today they are getting rid of the Pontiac line of cars. Apparently they carry Swine Flu…and they’re lame…and GM is broke. It’s hot in New York, folks. Spring decided it was too cool for NYC and summer just couldn’t wait to show it’s sweaty face. The city smells like BO already. Yummy! I’m JK and you need to wipe the sweat from your upper lip....

Sometimes all a good makeover needs…

…is a jacket. Susan Boyle’s new makeover is ruffling quite a few feathers. Who knew a makeover meant putting on a leather coat? Move over Jessica Alba, this singing Scottish sudden superstar went from my elementary school librarian to Madeleine Albright meets Harvey Fierstein. Leather Jackets are the new wonder bra. What about sequin jackets? Susan Boyle could totally pull it off and she’s never even been kissed. Those girls just look desperate. Especially that chubby blonde one on the right. She’s gonna cut somebody....

Sometimes I celebrate Earth Day…

…by completely ignoring it. I’m pretty sure it was Earth Day yesterday and I didn’t even eat any Sunchips! Where is my head these days, it’s like I’m on a different planet! Earth to Jenna, it was Earth Day! OMG, duh! Last year, if you remember, which you probably don’t, I threw my first “Go Green or Go Home” party, which was sort of a big deal. Like P. Diddy’s 4th of July White Party, everyone had to wear green from head to toe and bring their own plates, silverware, and cups. I died my fur coat green and one of my besties, Hannah Montana (I’m not really into Miley), wore a dress made out of old cell phone batteries, tires and sequins (the girl loves to sparkle). We were the talk of the fashion blogs for weeks. Then at the after party, everyone had a big water fight. And after the after party, I burned our trash instead of throwing it away. It was a huge success. Mother Earth was proud, I think. Anyway, this year, I’ve decided to write a letter to earth. Dear Mother Earth, I hear you’re getting warmer which is totally “hot” though I think winter ran a little long this year, if you ask me. You’ve been a good earth, minus a few disasters. What’s up with those? How about making more rainbows? And more puppies and bunnies and Zac Efrons? Also, I’m really sorry about the three bottles of water I drank this morning. It’s possible that at least one of them made it into the recycling bin unless of course the...