Sometimes people mistake me for…

…a pretty person.  Sometimes not.   Most recently, an East Village hippie hipster mistook me for a homeless person.  As I stood on the corner waiting for the little white man to give me the go ahead, the hipster came up to me, mentioned the cold weather, hard times and offered me his left over entree from a “delicious vegetarian place down the street.”  Really? Really?  Excuse me, but do I look like… …a vegetarian?  Hells no.   Then I went to McDonald’s and ate two Big Macs just to make sure I wasn’t. Maybe I should take a shower and stop wearing that sign around my neck that says, “Homeless. Family was killed by Ninjas.  Need money to take Ninja lessons.”  That or I should add, “Also NOT a vegetarian.”   Love,...

Sometimes our hearts are softened…

…and I’m a changed woman. Fact: I’ve never respected Star Trek. I love making fun of those weirdo kids who speak trekie language and go to conferences to nerd each other and the rest of the guests at the Holiday Day Inn out. Confession: If anyone could change my mind about Star Trek, it’s J.J. Abrams. The preview for his new Star Trek movie is AWESOME. There, I said it. I feel so much better. I’ve been carrying around that guilt bomb for a couple of days now and I couldn’t take it anymore. Folks, I’m excited for the new Star Trek movie. Watch the preview. Wow, I’m exhausted. I need to big gulp as soon as possible. (big gulp: verb meaning to drown away all emotions by drinking 32-64 ounces of Diet Coke from 7/11, on the rocks of course. One of the many words that will be in Jenna’s Dictionary of Fake and/or Half Words. Coming soon, nowhere near you.)...

Sometimes things…

…change. In honor of the new President, his new Chief of Staff and Sarah Palin’s new wardrobe***, I am going to write a post about… MY NEW ATTITUDE? NO. MY NEW LOVE OF HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL…3? NO. WHATEVER I WANT? BINGO. I guess some things never change. What’s on my mind? Well, it seems that ever since I wrote my facebook post about “the always important because I need to know what you are doing every second status,” my blog has been extra popular: the hits keep coming. Why? Because people actually google, “how to write a good facebook status” or “what are interesting facebook status?” or “facebook status about Mondays,” etc. Sadly for them, my blog is the only advice they get. It occurred to me that my warning, you know, the one where I told you facebook was devouring our brains, was true. It seems that facebook has devoured our brains and now that our lives revolve around it, I’ve made a few more observations. I’m 100% sure that people still take pictures…but not because they want to remember a special moment, time, person, place or thing. People take pictures so they can post them on facebook. I’m going to start taking pictures solely with the intent of putting them on facebook. They will be a selection of staged photos compiled in aptly named albums that will “brand” me. You know, make me appear how I want. I will be the best publicist for myself EVER. I will keep these pictures on a private setting until needed. Then I will share them with our new facebook world....

Sometimes I think I want to run a marathon…

…and then I see the New York City Marathon victims limping around the subways with a look of despair in their faces as they make their way home in their spandex shorts wrapped in a blanket. Really? Is it worth the pain? Probably. I’m going to start training…tomorrow…after I eat the rest of my Halloween candy....