Sometimes I am so grateful for…

…youtube. I saw this commercial a couple weeks ago and it made me laugh. I wanted to see it and thanks to youtube and user “adfreakdotcom,” I was able to find the commercial. And now I’m sharing it with you… Look out for an amazing “star” jump. Just...

Sometimes I wonder…

…could there be anything more annoying than a TV show about four unattractive women living in New York City? Hmmmm, oh wait! I know what’s more annoying! A MOVIE about four unattractive women living in New York City. If you HAD to, which character in Sex and the City do you want to be? If you are the main character, the narrator, the one who wears ridiculous clothes and looks like a foot and actually NEVER works yet somehow lives in a HUGE apartment in Manhattan and loves a guy named Mr. Big Head for the obvious reason that his head is larger than the great pumpkin in that Charlie Brown Halloween movie I saw once, oh wow, I got carried away, that’s right, here name is CARRIE, if you want to be Carrie, you are a little more cautious about your scanky behavior, you would NEVER knowingly hook up with a married man, did I mention your frightening sense of fashion, and lastly, you constantly say unfortunate things like “You know what, we should call New York, Old York, I’m so bored with everything.” Phew, I’m so glad I got that out. If you want to be the brunette, you know, the sweet, naive, and of course, virtuous Charlotte, you are a pushover. Sorry, it’s the truth. Or maybe you are just boring too. If you are the old blond cougar, just kill me now. We can’t be friends. And lastly, we have the “smart” red head. I think she’s a lawyer. Whatever. If I had to choose to be a character on the show, I’d be her,...

Sometimes I’m selfish…

…and apparently a little bit impatient? Right, right, whatever, MOVING ON… So lately I’ve been feeling sorry for myself. I try not to let it show but I’m becoming totes annoying. I almost want to punch myself in the face, mostly right now because I used the word “totes.” It means totally for those of you who aren’t “hip” like that. Anyway, don’t worry about my face. I won’t punch it. It’s all I’ve got these days. Although, I think I have crows feet already. And sun spots. And my teeth… Oh wait, am I feeling sorry for myself again? My BF, let’s just call him “Joe,” told me I better write down 10 things I’m grateful for to remedy my situation. Here goes… 1. Costco – more specifically, Costco Hot Dogs, Apple Pies, Sample Ladies and ankle socks. 2. My iTunes Playlist titled “My Life is Harder Than Yours.” It grows day by day… 3. Amy Poehler when she plays Amber, that awful white trash one legged girl who farts everytime she hops around. “Jealous?” (Kind of, actually.) 4. The person who coined the word “spooning.” 5-9. Brian, Kevin, AJ, Nick, and Howie D. of the Backstreet Boys for getting me through my 14th year of life on this earth. If I could borrow a phrase my brother used once, I’d like to call my teenage years, “The Nose Years.” 10. Diet Coke on the rocks: if you were a Mormon man, I’d elope to the temple in a heartbeat. Wow, I feel so much better. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. You know?...

Sometimes Law and Order…

…is the only thing on TV. Like, literally, the ONLY thing on television. I took a JetBlue flight from New York City to Salt Lake City last night and discovered that the only thing to watch on Sunday night is Law and Order. It was playing on, wait for it, wait for it, EIGHT different networks. WTF? It’s not even that great. Ok it is a well written and well produced television show. Fine. BUT come on! I got so confused. I’d start one episode and then during a commercial break tune into a different episode and then forget which episode I was watching and then before long, I had no idea what was going on. At one point, I thought a group of cheerleaders killed a football player who attacked a stripper whose mother was actually a drug dealer dating a pervert who actually wasn’t the murderer even though he was creepy as he*l. All I wanted to do was watch Roseanne. In fact, there are quite a few things I’d rather watch than Law and Order at this exact moment in time: 1. Paint drying. 2. A slideshow of rocks. 3. Saved by the Bell: The College Years. 4. Youtube videos made and narrated by awkward and angst-ridden Swedish 14 year old nerds. 5. Sister Act 2. Love,Jenna P.S. TNT is showing a Law and Order mini-marathon to celebrate Memorial Day. Please stay away from the TV and go outside. Enjoy the day off. I know I will. I’m going to WalMart to oooh and aaah over cheap...

Sometimes I get stressed out…

…and when I’m stressed out, I do crazy things. For example: 1. A couple days ago, I walked out of Staples with a giant spool of bubble wrap without paying for it. Don’t worry. I went back and paid. 2. The next day, I left my entire NINJA FUND at Chipotle. And that’s what I’d really like to talk about today. The NINJA FUND. A couple of months ago, I started the Ninja Fund in order to raise money so I could go to an overly expensive restaurant called Ninja where the waiters are actual trained ninjas. BUT because Ninja is all about eating, I wanted to earn money by eating. So basically, I would do any food related dare for compensation. Last week, I ate an Oyster for $6.00. Once I ate ketchup packets. I may have eaten candy corn that had been in my mom’s ear and a gummy licked by my brother’s dog for about $3.00. Anyway, the other day, I wanted to trade in my change for dollar bills: the fund was getting a little too heavy. The Duane Reade Pharmacy by my apartment has a coin counter but of course, it was broken. I was carrying the change in a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser box because I was out of ziplock bags so I took the box with me to Chipotle for lunch. Cameron (brother) and Janae (mother) were with me. After a nice long two hour lunch, we got up to leave and left the fund on the table. Of course, I didn’t realize it until the next morning. I returned to Chipotle...