I know what you’re thinking…

…could David Archuleta be cuter??? Even when he sings an obscure motivational song from the early 90’s, the boy is perfect. That’s not what you were thinking? Oh… Well maybe you were thinking…. Where is the long awaited post about Costco? Yeah about that, I thought of something that I wanted to write first so, uh, deal? Ok. Here we go. Brace yourself. Someday, somehow, somewhere, I want to punch someone in the face. One good punch like I was the star of my own romantic comedy. (All “GREAT” romantic comedies involve the main character punching the horrible good for nothing antagonist.) I keep running into people who make me want to punch them in the face. Seven of them actually. Let me share these unfortunate people/experiences with you… 1. I walked into McDonald’s with a friend of mine. He stood in front of the menu like he’d never seen it before, like we’d entered a country that doesn’t have McDonald’s (I’m laughing at that thought), like he was born yesterday and then said, “Hmmm, What’s good here?” I wanted to punch him in the face. 2. The other night I was talking to this cute boy in a crowded apartment and he said something that made me laugh. I threw my head back, then forward and on my head’s way down this girl walked past me and my open mouth sunk right into her shoulder. I bit her shoulder. WTF, didn’t she see my head on it’s way down? Why, why did she walk past me then? I felt like such an idiot. And I wanted to punch...

Another summer job…

I sang/danced at an amusement park in Utah a few years ago. It was a great job for three reasons. 1. Food: I could eat endless chicken nuggets with no consequence to my figure. 2. Fans: Men with mullets and neglected teenagers from across the northern region of the state who frequented the park by choice loved me. 3. Dance Moves: Ever seen Zac Efron dance and sing? Yeah, well, I freakin’ invented those moves. I own them and I’m still waiting for my...

I found my summer job today…

I will be a college graduate in May but I’m a little depressed about it. Why? Because I don’t want to give up my summer vacations. In fact, I won’t give up my summer vacation. How? This is how my plan came to pass: It’s a sunny Thursday afternoon and Jenna’s last day of spring break. Janae, Ashley, Eva and Jenna order lunch at Taco Bell. Jenna: I’m going to get the fresco chicken burrito supreme. Janae: Is that good? Jenna: Sure, I like it. I’m eating it. It’s FRESCO. (flashes intense spirit fingers) Janae: Ok, I’ll get that too. Their food comes and they sit in their favorite booth. Janae: This is gross. Take it away. I can’t eat it. Jenna: (takes a big bite) Oh. They say, if you don’t like it, they’ll eat it. Janae: Ashley, take this back for me. It’s so salty. Jenna: I don’t think it’s salty. Plus, I like salt. (pours a salt packet on burrito) Janae: It’s salty. Ashley takes it back and gets a chicken quesadilla for Janae instead. A few minutes later… Jenna: That’s it! I’ll eat it. Janae: (moves her quesadilla away from Jenna) Order your own quesadilla Jenna: Nooo, If you don’t like it, I’ll eat it. That’s my summer job. I could sit over there and eat rejected food. Janae: Jenna, the Taco Bell Reject. That’s good. I can work here with you. Jenna: Yeah, you’ll be the manager and I’ll be the Taco Bell Reject mascot. Janae: We’ll put you in a cage, elevate it, and then give you a diet pepsi IV. Jenna: Sweet....